You’re the girl I love the most
But you’re not quite as lovely as cheese on toast.
You're not quite as tasty
You’re not quite as hot
And for all that you cost me
I could eat quite a lot.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Body Language 2
My heart is broken
And so are my legs
My eyes, they cry
Like soft-boiled eggs.
My limbs have slimmed through under eating
You’re always so cold
Let’s turn up the heating.
You know that I only have eyes for you
I’ll put them in a parcel and seal it with glue.
Deliver them personally, not with a stamp.
I’d chase you forever
But you’ve given me cramp.
My lungs and kidneys are tired and lonely
My ears can’t hear, not that you ever phone me.
A knock-out girl left me sprawled on the deck.
I’m the thorn in your side.
You’re a pain in the neck.
And so are my legs
My eyes, they cry
Like soft-boiled eggs.
My limbs have slimmed through under eating
You’re always so cold
Let’s turn up the heating.
You know that I only have eyes for you
I’ll put them in a parcel and seal it with glue.
Deliver them personally, not with a stamp.
I’d chase you forever
But you’ve given me cramp.
My lungs and kidneys are tired and lonely
My ears can’t hear, not that you ever phone me.
A knock-out girl left me sprawled on the deck.
I’m the thorn in your side.
You’re a pain in the neck.
My Mistress
(poem about agoraphobia for mental health charity's advertising competition)
My mistress is fickle
She’ll weave her tangled web
And then leave me
In a pickle.
She waits by the door
Like a dormant volcano
I can’t complain though
As she stretches my stomach till it snaps on a rack
But I only want to go to the shops and back.
My mistress is fickle
She’ll weave her tangled web
And then leave me
In a pickle.
She waits by the door
Like a dormant volcano
I can’t complain though
As she stretches my stomach till it snaps on a rack
But I only want to go to the shops and back.
Man Or Mouse (Or Salmon)
I'm always vexed
How I look at my phone for a text
From you.
Well anyone will do
But especially you.
Because…you know what for
And I'm sorry if I'm becoming a bore
But you still do those funny things to me in my stomach
So that I have to look
On Face_book
And work out your cryptic clues.
Because every mountain is a molehill if you wear the right shoes.
I'm a mouse who feels like shit
Because he's realised the cheese he dreamt about
Isn’t really worth it.
The cat's there
He's got the cream.
I'm a salmon in your jaws
Why'd you lead me upstream?
How I look at my phone for a text
From you.
Well anyone will do
But especially you.
Because…you know what for
And I'm sorry if I'm becoming a bore
But you still do those funny things to me in my stomach
So that I have to look
On Face_book
And work out your cryptic clues.
Because every mountain is a molehill if you wear the right shoes.
I'm a mouse who feels like shit
Because he's realised the cheese he dreamt about
Isn’t really worth it.
The cat's there
He's got the cream.
I'm a salmon in your jaws
Why'd you lead me upstream?
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Shortbread
Shortbread
Is neither short
Nor bread.
But it tastes so ace
It laces your head.
As sweet as a pretty girl laying in flowers
I’ll tweet it
You can’t beat it
I could eat it for hours.
But too much of a good thing can make you sick
Just like my love for you
Get a bucket, quick.
Is neither short
Nor bread.
But it tastes so ace
It laces your head.
As sweet as a pretty girl laying in flowers
I’ll tweet it
You can’t beat it
I could eat it for hours.
But too much of a good thing can make you sick
Just like my love for you
Get a bucket, quick.
Toilet Duck
There’s a stuffed toy duck on my parent’s toilet
Big eyes
Orange beak
A freak.
But looking worn
Forlorn
A toy all mild
No child
No purpose
But I suppose
He hasn’t paid his bill.
I’ve finished my wee now
I’ve a little more time
And a rhyme
To kill.
Big eyes
Orange beak
A freak.
But looking worn
Forlorn
A toy all mild
No child
No purpose
But I suppose
He hasn’t paid his bill.
I’ve finished my wee now
I’ve a little more time
And a rhyme
To kill.
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